I was planning on coming in today and tell you about how I was so unappealing to someone that I actually made him bolt out of my car as fast as he could; and as entertaining as that would have been for you, the news I heard this morning made that whole situation seem silly and insignificant. I was greeted at the door by a fellow worker asking if I had heard the news. I would not have been surprised if the news of the disgust I had apparently placed in my new friend over the weekend had traveled so quickly, but I figured that was probably not it. He proceeded to tell me that a coworker of mine's husband had passed away over the weekend. The tears came instantly and I was filled with pain and sorrow immediately. I am very close to her as she has become a sort-of surrogate mother for me, her advice I would be lost without. She is a comedic, blunt, and honest woman, and I adored her husband. Together they were an incredible example of humor, life, and love. It is too soon for that to be so quickly disrupted. You feel so helpless in a time like this because nothing that you can do or say will ever fill that void. The one thing that would come close to filling it, ironically, is laughter. But not just any laughter...teary-eyed, from-the-gut laughter. The kind of laughter he envoked effortlessly.
I wish I had known him longer, spent just one more afternoon at their house hearing stories before he left.
I would have made it a point to laugh harder.