Ok, so this is how it went down:
him: what you thinking about?
me: well, i was kind of wondering what was going on with us.
him: yeah, me too.
me: um, it's not really working. i just think it's really bad timing.
him: no, it's totally my fault. i just have no time, and i didn't put enough time into our relationship.
me: no, please...it's not your fault. you just have a lot going on right now, and i don't expect to get that from you.
him: no, it is my fault. i'm sorry.
me: that's ok. it just wasn't meant to be right now.
him: but we'll still hang out.
me: do you see that guy that looks like a captain next to us, hat and all?
him: it's the skipper!
me: the skipper's an asshole, he's totally not letting you over.
him: damn skipper.
Seriously, it was a little alarming just how easy it was. Compared to my last break-up that included threats of suicide and constant redials, I'm thinking I could get used to this breaking-up-thing. Next!