Friday, June 16


I've always seemed to have had the ability to find a reason for why someone comes in or out of my life. There have been times, especially as of late where I've struggled with the answer. When this occurs I feel off, unbalanced...unsettled. Then, there are times, where I instantly know the reason, I feel the reason why someone has come into my life, and I become a bit more settled. It balances out the previous uncertainty. Over the past few months, I've been trying to come to terms with the frustrations I feel from an unknown future and the pressure for it to be known. This past weekend, I finally realized I need to let it go. It's been causing my insides to stir. Two days later, I began exploring a relationship with someone new (and by relationship, I don't mean the common definition we associate that with, but it is, in essence, a beginning of a relationship of some form)...someone with a calmness about him that is infectious. In the two days and nights I've spent with him, I feel it taking over me...I no longer feel the pressure I've been putting on myself, I feel the way I've been wanting to feel for quite some time now. He didn't cause this, nor did he give me this, but he has helped me acknowledge it's importance even further than I had yet been able to on my own. It hasn't even been through words necessarily, but simply by being in his presence. I feel okay at the moment. I'm not as concerned about the future right now. It all feels*....good.

(In conclusion, apparently, I'm FEELING again. According to the amount of times I just used the word "feel" in the paragraph above, it's feeling times 9. And now it's 13.)

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