Friday, October 7

Bi-polar music.

My moods have been rather bi-polar lately. The good moods come random, and hit me mid-laugh when I can't stop and there's no explanation for the change in spirit. Literally, I will wake up absolutely miserable, and within a few hours, unable to get the smile off my face. Today I've gone from internally singing Red House Painters and Elliot Smith to bouncing my head to Kanye West while singing a duet with Otis in my head to Gone. Or like last night, I lose my voice belting out Oh, Atlanta with Alison Krauss, only to wake up desiring Adem.

I wish I could change my moods as easy as it is to change a cd in my changer. Or maybe that's the solution, whenever I'm feeling Elliott Smith, put in the Dandy Warhols or Eels as an experiement for my head, hoping with the change of tune, a change in attitude will coincide. I realize this is not a new concept, but I'm often contemplating the effect music has on me, as if melodies and lyrics are in place of blood in my veins. I think about the people who have no desires towards music, and I'm sad for them. Without music, I would be bored with just the voice in my head. I need a soundtrack to supplement my words and transform my thoughts.

Even if my soundtrack is currently R. Kelly's Trapped in The Closet, at least I can be temperarily (or rather regularly) be consumed with the work of an R&B artist's mind, and forget for a moment the drama I may have conjured within my own reality and focus instead on a circle of adulterers in a 30-minute musical drama masterpiece.

This is the brilliance of music. I may not be able to play a chord on my own, I can at least indulge in the talents of others to make my day go by a little bit more easily. And in some cases, a little bit more bi-polary.

1 comment:

(another) r said...

as i was reading this, my media player went from hypermasculine degenerate cam'ron telling me (assuming that i'm a girl with a big ass) to "shake something"; to the girls from cocorosie and the androgynous antony very sadly singing for all the beautiful boyz. and my mind didn't skip a beat. it was like the power went out in the house and i just kept tallking about "dirty dancing". it was weird...