Wednesday, October 11

You can just feel my badassness, can't you? Admit it. You wish you could be as badass as me. I know. It's okay.

Even at 27, I've found a way to feel like I'm rebelling against my parents. I got my nose pierced for the third time. And let me tell you, the pain does not lesson with each piercing.

I took out my previous piercing a couple of months ago because I was tired of it being irritated. And by "took out" I really mean, "had it cut out of my nose and pulled out with pliers." And yes, I got it re-pierced even after that (but the other side). Everytime I looked in the mirror I felt like something was missing. My face was boring me. I've pretty much had it pierced on and off since I was 21. Each not without their own fighting reasons...either to get it done, or to take it out. I can't just do these things, there needs to be a reason behind it. A "my life is changing in one way or another and I need something to be a symbol of that overly-dramatic reaction to the change" piercing.

But back to the rebelling....As of 3 days ago, BOTH my parents moved in with me.* 3 months ago, my dad moved in to start his new job while my mom stayed in Maine to try and sell the house. It has been a difficult 3 months. I like my private time. I like my space. I've lived in an entire house by myself for 2 years...to have your dad, and later your mom, move in with you is not an easy adjustment. It's one thing to move back in with your parents, but to have your parents move in with you? NOT THE SAME THING. So silently I've been raging a little bit. My insides were freaking out with each night that goes by without my usual nightly down time. My house was a mess, my bathroom disgusting (seriously, how am I ever going to live with a man? They are DIRT-Y!), the dishes were piled up, and my spot on the couch was taken over. I was moody and easily irritated...and the saddness and loneliness I've been suffering through the past few months/years, was multiplied by a gazillion. I was frustrated with feelings of selfishness. And it only got worse this weekend when my mom moved in.

So Monday night I all of a sudden the feeling that I needed to get it done hightened, and it needed to happen then. I recruited my friend Sanne to come with, and I went last night and got it done. Immediately, I felt better. On my drive home I was trying to figure out why it was I felt the urge to get it done so immediately. And then it came to me: I have no control over my one safehaven in life, my home. To have absolutely no control over my living situation is a tough one for me. And I know my parent's are not psyched about the nose ring. So the re-piercing was my way of rebelling. At 27. I wasn't much of a rebel growing up, so these small little victories of defiance are as close as I get. Now get me a sword and a horse, and I'll be on my way.

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* Two years ago, my sister and brother-n-law started building a house next to mine and across the street from theirs. Along with this plan came the one where my mom would take care of my nephew and both parents would move into the house where my sister and b-n-l currently reside. But when do things work out as planned? The house has taken an insane amount of time to be finished, and since they are not in it yet, my parents have to live with me until my sister and b-n-l can move into the new house.

Aren't I lucky?

1 comment:

dammit sami said...

At this age, I think I'd rather have my parents move in with me, than move in with my parents. But I mean that in the way that I'd rather have my ear ripped off than have my tongue ripped out.

(I mean, why am I gross all of a sudden?)

You could come here and sit on my couch ... it's small but I would totally respect your station.