In case you haven't noticed, I've been on a bit of a hiatus lately. After it was apparent my instincts were, in fact, dead on - AGAIN - for the umpteenth time, I guess I needed a little time to myself to mull things over. So now I'm back, only a little bitter, and more imortantly, realizing more and more that it's nothing wrong with me -- that it's the guy that is just being idiotic and missing out on a fabulous catch. Now, I'm not one of those gals who always says all guys suck or are stupid, but I do have to say, I may have been given clarity on that very supject. Yesterday T and I were discussing men with one of the professor's here. He said it bluntly, "Women always think they've found the one man in the universe that is different, the one man out of the billion that is wonderful. Then they realize at some point down the line, that he is no different. Let me save you the time, we are ALL IDIOTS. Every single one of us: IDIOTS. It's just how we are. We can't change that. So just stop thinking you'll find the one exception and you won't keep getting disappointed." Both T and I found this rather refreshing, and so true that every woman thinks that she's found that one exception, including me on more than one occasion. And what do they always end up doing? Fucking up. Being stupid. Missing out. Now, his point was not that they aren't worth it, because he's happily married -- but we need to stop thinking the one you find will be different. Chances are, they don't have a chance in a million of being different. And if, by chance, they really truly seem to be --- give them time. But it's ok, guys, the good news is we know you're worth it. But do know, that the secret is out; which, really, should make it easier for you. Just do us all a favor and stop pretending like you're perfect from the beginning -- that way, when you fuck up down the line, we won't be surprised and shocked that you really are no different from those other guys.
So, on another note, although still kind of related, my grandfather is getting married this weekend. It's a little strange for me, as I was really close to my grandmother, who only passed away 3 years ago. But I am fully aware that it's his happiness that matters, and I'm trying to be ok with it. Which, I am sure I will be, as soon as I see how happy he is. I kind of just need to get it over with. In addition to this, I will be spending ample time getting excited about a little trip I spontaneously planned to D.C. After getting dumped on my ass out of no where, I decided instead of wallowing in the frustration I was experiencing at having another great prospect go down the drain, I called my friend H and told her to expect a visitor - I was planning on having some fun single gal time in a city I'd never been to. We haven't seen one another in about 4 years, and it's due time we made up for that. So it's sure to be an all-out gab fest among pints of beer intermingled with laughter and tears in the capital city. I'm really really looking forward to it. I just wish my damn iPod Shuffle wasn't a piece of shit and I would have some music for my travels. I hate thinking of being without my tunes for a whole 5 days when numerous forms of transportation will be used alone. I may just have to resort to signing aloud and amusing myself by flashing strangers on the subway and in the airport. No wait, that only happens to T during class. Guess I'll have to find my own form of entertainment. Until I leave next friday, you should hear from me again. Because, after all, it's back to normal for me -- I'm once again alone. Only this time, a little more fired up.